this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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