ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
