I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize