The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
