Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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