What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it was like eating out sand paper
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
