Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
