I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
