I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
