plz talk dirty to me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
