I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
