he thought i was a dude.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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