how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
