what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
