is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
