any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
