he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
