i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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