Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it's great music for shaving your balls
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
