covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
