It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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