We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I could make wine with my vomit
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
