Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
