I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
