there's paper in my vomit.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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