hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
