It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
