Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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