Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
