Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
