she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
