i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
only if we run a train.
done.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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