I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
