Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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