and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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