girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
this boner is exhausting
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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