Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
