When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
