This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
