Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
