So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
