drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
