What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have feelings that need drinking.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
