Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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