How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
