oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
