Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
