Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
