This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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