If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
