I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Even my vagina gasped.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
