Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
