the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
