I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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