Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
