Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
