we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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