Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
