so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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